It's like everything is happening at once. I can't control myself, my emotions, anymore. I just can't be happy. Everyday it's something new. I don't know if I'm really crying because this is over or if I cry because I need to. Because there is nothing else I can do. No other emotion to display. I just feel so helpless. So lifeless.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to be my own person because my constant state of being is depressed. The only thing that I truly and honestly know about me is that I live in a state of sadness. Yes, my moods swing and happiness and laughter sometimes join my life; however, I always end up at my baseline; sad.

I'm chronically sick and chronically sad. I contribute nothing to the world. How can I when I can't contribute anything to myself?