Am I an embarrassing person to know? I'd like to think that I'm some what good looking and that I can carry on a conversation or two, but there have been one too many guys in my life who have wanted to keep our relationship (friendships included) at the time a secret. The first was 7th grade. The second, after 8th grade at summer camp. The third during high school. Fourth at Boulder. And now when I think back on it, he kept me a secret. Never introducing me to his friends or letting me in to his life. Is there something wrong with me that no one is telling me? If not, then I don't understand. Am I just attracted to people who will never really have me?

This is not a new revelation, but something I have been thinking about for a while. I guess it just hit the hardest recently. I can't keep putting myself through this, but I don't know how to stop.

I can't even write anything worth reading these days because my emotions keep getting in the way.